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Decade After Decade - How has your relationship with your sibling changed?

S says

Siblings are supposed to be born playmates. Someone who will be 'there for you' all your life. They've seen you at your worst and they know all your weaknesses. Plus they don't say 'blood is thicker than water' for nothing.

I have just one sister, three years older than me. As a baby, my eyes would follow her around the room watching her every move in wonder. Or so my parents tell me.

We shared a room and all our secrets. Her old school books were passed on to me, kept neatly with helpful notes jotted all on them. I loved and hated her for that - for once I'd liked to have my own shiny new books!

What happens when the person we grew up is now suddenly no longer there. After job and marriage, we were now in different countries for more than a decade. Suddenly your guide and anchor has drifted away and it is up to you find your sea legs all on your own.

With phone and technology, we still find ways to stay in touch. Our kids adore each other.

But it isn't the same.

As our parents age, we are united in taking care of them. We support each other mentally, if not physically present, through tough times. And hope than in future, both our 'single' kids find each other similarly.


R says


To me, siblings are suppose to be born friends.

I have a brother, three years younger than to me. I would confess and he would attest that I was a rough, 'bullyish' older sister well into our late teens.

We only played games I wanted to play - which included the Kitchen set and then Monopoly and Scrabble in the later years.

I don't know if he liked those games. I never cared. And probably he did not think he had a choice.

But he was my only play mate for the most part and I, his. Again no choice here.


He was a fighter though. He would rebel. Put his foot down. We fought like the cliched 'cats and dogs'.

However some time between my University days or his, our relationship changed.

It may have been that both of us were now on our own, away from parents and actual life challenges hit us.


There was always lots to discuss, lots to share and that is when we realized that we were actually great friends!

Having lived a sheltered life all our childhood, with no other than parents to deal with; life outside home threw a lot of things at us; lot of people, lot of relationships, lot of different situations; at the workplace, with friends etc


There a lot of times I would have called quits if I did not have him by my side.

Those stressful years with my parents, he was the buffer and the sane head in our midst.

A twenty something that he was, I could not believe the wisdom he carried from the advice that he would give.


Post the tumultuous twenties, and well into our thirties when I was almost settled in a lot of ways, and he in some; we continued to remain strong confidantes to each other, and the go to person to discuss anything going on in our lives.


And yes, just like you S, I do hope, both our 'single' kids find the same bond in each other.

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