My daughter loves company while watching TV. ‘Mama, watch with me’, she always pleads.
She doesn’t get it. Screen time is precious ‘me-time’ for Mama. And I haven’t yet figured out how to tell her. So in this process, we’ve discovered a new series called ‘Bluey’ which is actually not that hard to watch. In fact, I have sort of started looking forward to it.
The series is about a dog family and it strikes just the right note of humor, parenting, values, family life and kids without being over the top about either.
At first I didn’t have any complaints, only good things to say about it. But then during rewatches (as Disney India hasn’t appeared to have laid its hands on any other seasons apart from the first one yet) I have landed on a minor peeve.
Why isn’t Bluey’s mom more fun?
It is always Bluey’s dad who’s horsing around with his kids, coming up with silly plays and generally being the ‘cool’ parent (if that’s ever such a thing)…while it is up to Mom to always lay down the rules and being the more stricter and dare I say it…slightly more unrelatable parent for the kids? There’s even an episode about it where the kids complain how the Mom is ‘boring’…so the show is clearly self-aware about it.
But which makes me think, are we as moms as self-aware? Each household is different, but it seems like Moms have the lion’s share of non-fun jobs around the house. Somewhere along the way, we lose our sense of humor after reminding for the hundredth time to ‘please pick up the toys’ and ‘put away the clothes’, etc.
And hence, Dads get to be the goofball parents and as the cherry on top (on the rare occasion it falls on them) somehow get the kids listen to them better…
So as a ‘chivvying’ parent – has my whole mom life been a lie? I can blame my own parents because I’m simply going with what my own mother did…which was yell at me until I gave in and reluctantly did what I was supposed to, whining and complaining all the while.
But maybe, just maybe, there’s a different way – that is be the goofball parent and just make everything ‘fun and games’ and get the kids to listen!
So wait, after putting in a full day’s work, being responsible for breakfast, lunch, dinner, endless snacks, clean clothes and utensils for the entire family (not to mention raising an elementary school going kid) now I need to be fun too?? What the…
How do Dads do it, then?
Could it be the misplaced sense of responsibility that we Moms take it on ourselves? If we don’t get our kids to eat right, be hygenic and finish their homeworks or if we’re lagging behind in general housework, there’s this sinking feeling of failure which wells up inside us.
But then if you think about it, what’s the worst that can happen?
A few days back at my kids dentist appointment I found out she has 6 cavities. At 6 years of age! And despite all my best efforts of getting her to brush her teeth daily…and even brushing them myself should she not!
I felt like a complete failure, until the dentist went on to say it was unrelated to her teeth brushing or even how many chocolates or biscuits she has, but rather the time she takes to finish her food. And yes, she is a terribly distracted eater and will gladly take a whole hour for lunch.
After this incident I learned 2 things:
First, despite trying as hard as you can, some things will just happen. It may or may not be in your hands.
Second, kids learn from their mistakes. After getting her cavities filled, I rarely have to remind her to brush her teeth. I can tell her how unpleasant drilling is, unfortunately she had to undergo it to actually believe it.
Coming back to Bluey, I hope things change by season 2, and we see Bluey’s mom’s fun side too. Because we’ve got one too, its just temporarily buried. And it’s not only kids who could always use a good role model!
